JLPT overwhelms Jason 60-40

JLPT pulled a dramatic 60-40 upset victory over defending champion Jason yesterday in the 2005 Language Cup finals.

"I was confident going into this match," said a sweaty but ecstatic JLPT during the post-match interview. "I was so devastated by last year's 8-92 loss to Jason. I trained hard throughout the year and have reached a level of play that I can really be happy about," added JLPT with a genial smile.

Things weren't so bright for last year's champion. Asked whether he continued his training throughout the year, the 21-year old refused to comment. "I don't think it was a good day for me." he said instead. "I didn't bring my watch, and [JLPT's] 'time warp' really caught me off guard. Before I knew it I had five minutes left to prepare my final counterattack."

During the first phase, Vocabulary and Writing, the two players were generally evenly matched though JLPT always held the upper hand. This probably threw Jason off guard. By the time the closing bell rang, JLPT finished with a slight lead over last year's champion.

In the second phase, Listening Comprehension, Jason valiantly rallied back and finished with a substantial lead over JLPT. Using his 'ear technique' which he honed after watching hundreds of episodes of anime, Jason enjoyed an excellent round of play. The fat lady had not sung yet however.

The third and most important phase, Reading Comprehension and Grammar, was when the outcome was sealed. JLPT opened with her usual 'mundane two-page essays on useless topics' strategy. When Jason appeared to be coping well, she revealed a formerly proscribed technique: the 'repetitively-redundantly-droning-and-makes-no-sense-like-this-current-sentence sentence that uses basically only bombastic words and which is definitely a run on-sentence in English but if it isn't I'd like to make it so because I-loooove-curry-and-by-the-way-I-just-had-some this morning... keke' trick of doom.

From this Jason never recovered. JLPT mercifully finished him off with her famous 'time warp' trick -- those that witnessed it for the first time were completely baffled.

Jason later admitted today that he bathed in last year's glory and was idle in preparations, while his opponent apparently increased her powers tenfold.

In her usual emollient way, JLPT remarked, "Jason is a formidable tactician with quick and effective plays. I had a tough time due to his outstanding techniques of 'guessing' and 'second guessing'."

source: Serendipity Islet
Official purveyor of useless news


Anonymous said...

LOL Well done, Jason!! *still grinning*

I love the irony in that you used the word "bombastic".. that word itself is so bombastic! :-P

Your run on sentence was my favourite part! ^^ Tell me, do the Japanese REALLY talk that way??

Yay for your anime excellence skills ;-)

Is there going to be a rematch?

-- Silph

Rick said...

Jason, that sounded like a disaster. It's too bad it wasn't my instrumentation exam. If it was, you might have fared better even though you have no idea how to work with a BJT.

BJT is Bipolar Junction Transistor, not Blow Job Time as my buddy Sparkie calls them.

Kevin said...

Oh. He should know how to work a BJT. After all, he passed the basic fundamental course for them.

Or maybe it was the guessing. Or the second guessing. Damn you Jason, and your legendary guessing techniques.

Jason Yu said...

Silph: Yes, the next match will be December 2006. No, the Japanese don't talk that way, but it's just there on the JLPT level 1 for reasons yet unknown (to mankind). I was searching for a period... nope, comma... nope, comma...

Kevin: Wahoo, go fluking skills. It's a shame that my 'second guessing [myself]' skill is much better than my 'guessing' skill though =P

Ricky: You have a buddy named Sparkie?!

Rick said...

Sparkie is my buddy's nickname. He's actually named Bryan but everybody and some of the profs call him 'Sparkie' anyway.

Alan said...

Ohh...that's pretty cool. It's a better nickname than "Bacteria Boy" which Tanzeeb got from Mr. Sawicki during gr.11 Bio. :P

And you have to wait another year to take the test again? Oh no sir.